Peaches ‘n Cream

8.2.17

This week we have been reminded that things aren’t always “Peaches ‘n Cream”.  Sunday night on our way home from church I have no idea how it came up but one of us said something about wanting Peaches ‘n Cream.  When I hear the phrase “Peaches ‘n Cream” I think, “life is good, things are going well”, etc.  Don’t get me wrong, I am so blessed and my life is very good, but sometimes there are bumps in the road.

Sunday night several hours after going to bed I hear over the baby monitor little man calling for “Daddy”.  I wake up Ryan and he goes quickly upstairs…as I listen I figure out that he had gotten sick.  I quickly gathered up some things and went up stairs to help out as well.  We got all of that taken care of and go back to bed and pray that he is okay and that he can go back to sleep.

Tuesday morning I worked from home until Ryan got off work and it was a rough morning.  It is obvious our little guy is dealing with so much and trying to process all the change that has happened in his short life.  Ryan was able to get him to talk and he shared what he was thinking and it was a small glimpse into how his little mind is thinking about all of these strange people, places etc.  But it was also a sharp dose of reality for me that even though I have done everything to be his “mother” for the last two weeks he doesn’t connect the dots to see that.  He sees me more of a reason to be able to go back to his birth mom, he thinks that if he doesn’t obey me that means he can go back to mom.  I will admit it was very painful to think that even though I love him and take care of him like a mom loves and takes care of their child he isn’t willing to accept that. They told us in training that things like this could happen, they warned us, prepared us, etc but for it to happen in your own home with a child that you have given every ounce of your energy too the last two weeks was a huge growing experience for me.

I am sure we will have more tough moments, I am sure that we will continue to have fun and joyous times as well and I am so thankful that each day is a fresh start to love and be loved by others and love, to be loved and to be forgiven by God.

Life isn’t always “Peaches ‘n Cream”

RLG

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Unconditional

7.24.17

This word has taken on a whole new meaning in the last 5 days.  It has made me think how I really love and look at people.

Do I love unconditionally?  Truly?  or do I just think I do?  Do I “expect” things from others and in return I will “love” or “like” them?

We feel like we have done everything possible to love our little guy and show him we truly love him, not just with material things but with things like attention, food, patience etc. but on Saturday we experienced extreme push back on that love, no doubt testing us to see if we would still love him, still take care of him, still give him a home and a bed to sleep in, still feed him even if he disobeyed, even if he slammed doors, even if he called us names, even if he told us NO! 100x, he is trying to find out if we will love him UNCONDITIONALLY.  Ryan and I have prayed for patience and wisdom and so many of you and others are praying daily for us as well and it is only with those prayers that the Lord has carried us through two of the most trying days.  I said to Ryan it is so hard to see him being so defiant when we have shown him nothing but love, but I am sure in his little mind it makes complete sense!

But on the bright side…this morning he woke up (early 6:15) and came down and saw me and wrapped his arms around my legs.  I walked over to the couch with him and held him and he just laid there with his head on my shoulder and then talked and talked and talked, kissed me, hugged me and was completely different today than he was on Saturday.  It seemed he was completely content that this was home!

We were told to be prepared to experience the high’s and the low’s but to hear it and then to experience it; is very very different!

Thank you so much to those that are lifting us up in prayer and for all the encouragement.  We know without a doubt that he is in our home for a reason and we will love him no matter what!

RLG