I learned a valuable lesson yesterday and one I don’t want to forget. I got home from work and met Ryan in the driveway because he was headed back into work, we said a quick hello and goodbye and I headed into the house. Little man was doing something which he loves to do and that is to hid and see if we can find him (he always hides in the same spot, so it is pretty easy, but we play along). I “found” him and he talked a little bit and then asked if we could go outside to play. If I am being 100% honest that is the last thing I wanted to do, not that I didn’t want to spend time with him but I felt like there were other things that I needed to take care of. I had just walked in the door from a busy day and if I was going to go outside that meant I needed to change out of my work clothes and that meant dinner wasn’t going to get started like I had planned. You see (for those of you that know me, you already know this) but I am a planner, organizer and I have things planned in my head so that I can get everything done. But at this moment our little guy didn’t care if dinner was started, he didn’t care if I had been at work all day, he didn’t care if my “plan” was going to be messed up…he cared that I would go outside and play with him.
I did go outside and play, we played games he came up with, he made up rules I would have never imagined, he laughed, he screamed with excitement, he ran and played and was sweaty and dirty but he had the time of his life. He finds joy in the simple things, his imagination goes wild with just one or two things to play with, it is so fun to see life through his perspective.
We did come back inside after awhile because dinner still needed cooked (even if it was later than what I had originally planned). As I was cooking dinner he was completely content to play with his cars and trucks in the kitchen and he would stop and talk to me, etc. Then he looked at me and said “will you play cars with me?” Sure, why not…dinner will happen (maybe not until 8 p.m. at this rate) but today I would never get back, I would never again have these moments to be able to just play and laugh with him, so I got down on the floor and we had car races. Then he got some of his other toys (the figure pictured above) and he was coming up with all sorts of things and as I was laying on the ground and looked at the figure he had set there I saw the dirt on the floor, I saw the dust on the bench and truthfully my first thought was I need to get up and clean this up. But then I stopped…he didn’t care about the dirt on the floor or the dust on the bench he cared that I was spending time with him, that I was playing the racing games he came up with, with the rules only he could imagine. I knew he was having fun but I didn’t grasp the full reality of how much fun he was having until this morning. He said to me before we left the house “will you play cars with me again?” You see the dirt is still on the floor, the dust is still on the bench, there are dishes in the sink, but in those moments last night he felt he was the most important.
Lesson learned…dust can wait, but little boys won’t stay little. I think that this may be even more real for me because we don’t know when we might get a call that he is leaving us, or we might found out that he is staying indefinitely, we really don’t know. So for now we will soak up these moments and continue to do all we can do to make him feel loved and treasured, to let him be a little boy for a little while longer and laugh and sing till his hearts content.