It is truly hard to believe that just 6 weeks ago today we met our little guy for the very first time. It is hard to believe just how much we have learned from him and have grown as people. It is crazy to think that less than 24 hours after we found out he would be coming to our home, we became parents for the very first time and less than 24 hours after he was in our home he was calling Ryan “Daddy”. It has been six weeks of immense change for Ryan and I, having been married over 3 years and just the two of us in the home and only two schedules to think about, things changed OVERNIGHT! We have had to make changes and I am sure we will continue to make changes as we adjust and adapt to meeting the needs for little man, but it has been good!
Yesterday he started school, Kindergarten! He was so excited and had a great first day. He has an amazing teacher also that he talks about all the time, so we are excited about this new adventure for him.
Last night after a full day of work, school, working on getting into a good routine, I looked at Ryan and said “some days it feels like we have had him forever and other days it feels like we just met him yesterday”. We have definitely tried to establish routine because he thrives on knowing what is next, what is happening the next day etc. He knows that weekdays we have school, then play time, dinner, bath and bed. Weekends are not as much routine but typically include Birth Mom visit, errands (when needed), lots of play time, church, etc.
This morning after I dropped him off at school I got to thinking, I wonder how he feels? Does he feel like he has known us “forever” or just a day or two? Does he feel like this is “home” (even if just for a short time or forever)? What goes through his little mind? We may never know the answers to these questions, we may never understand what is going through his head, although at times some things he says and information he shares gives us a little more insight into what he has experienced.
Each day I try to remind myself to take each day one moment at a time as we have no idea what the next moment may hold.
There is so much to say, but it feels so hodge-podge just bear with me, this is definitely one those posts that makes sense to us but most likely will feel so “unconnected” to others.
Little man had some hard days at the beginning of the week but Thursday morning he woke up completely different than he had been, this was a HUGE answer to prayer. You see he is 5 (almost 6) and he remembers EVERYTHING it seems from what he has experienced in the past. So one small thing that seems insignificant to us can be HUGE for him. One emblem on a car reminds him of people that he loves but that he doesn’t get to see hardly at all anymore. One picture in a book can bring back a flood of memories, some good and some not so good. One trip in the car can make him remember trips in the past. One sighting of a dog that looks like his dog makes him reminisce about the dog that he loves but no longer sees. But the opposite is true also, he knows that in our home he has his toys, his bedroom, his familiar things that he knows and things that are his and he loves to be at home in the familiar space.
He has been with us for 20 days…that is all but we quickly established a routine and the week days are very similar each day and he thrives on that routine. He knows that Monday-Friday he goes to “school” for a couple of hours and then Ryan picks him up. He knows that on Sunday we go to church. He knows that the bedtime routine includes a song, Bible story, prayer and lots of hugs and kisses. We also want him to know that we love him and each day the decisions we make we are trying to do what is best for him.
Ryan and I were talking last night before falling asleep how much we have learned in the last 20 days about parenting and how much we have yet to learn but are thankful that we don’t need to know everything right now, but take things one moment at a time. People have said to us many times in the last 3 weeks they don’t know how we are doing it but to be honest we don’t know how to do it either, except by God’s grace and wisdom for each new moment. We never in a million years thought that our first experience as parents would be with a 5 year old, but God knew. God knew exactly what that would look like. Right now we have an overwhelming need that we didn’t foresee two years ago, when we made a huge decision but God knew and God has it completely under control. Do we know how He is going to take care of that need? Absolutely not, but He didn’t bring us to this point in our lives to just let us “hang out to dry” so we will trust knowing that His plan is perfect.
Our dear church family is doing a “Welcome to Parenthood” celebration and we are beyond blessed that they are celebrating with us this new chapter in our lives just as if he were our biological child, even though he is our foster son. We are thankful that the Lord lead us to our church only a year ago when we moved an hour away from our families and our familiar territory. Once again God had the perfect plan.
You see what I mean…complete mis-match of things but things we don’t want to forget and we want to be able to look back and remember.