This word has taken on a whole new meaning in the last 5 days.  It has made me think how I really love and look at people.

Do I love unconditionally?  Truly?  or do I just think I do?  Do I “expect” things from others and in return I will “love” or “like” them?

We feel like we have done everything possible to love our little guy and show him we truly love him, not just with material things but with things like attention, food, patience etc. but on Saturday we experienced extreme push back on that love, no doubt testing us to see if we would still love him, still take care of him, still give him a home and a bed to sleep in, still feed him even if he disobeyed, even if he slammed doors, even if he called us names, even if he told us NO! 100x, he is trying to find out if we will love him UNCONDITIONALLY.  Ryan and I have prayed for patience and wisdom and so many of you and others are praying daily for us as well and it is only with those prayers that the Lord has carried us through two of the most trying days.  I said to Ryan it is so hard to see him being so defiant when we have shown him nothing but love, but I am sure in his little mind it makes complete sense!

But on the bright side…this morning he woke up (early 6:15) and came down and saw me and wrapped his arms around my legs.  I walked over to the couch with him and held him and he just laid there with his head on my shoulder and then talked and talked and talked, kissed me, hugged me and was completely different today than he was on Saturday.  It seemed he was completely content that this was home!

We were told to be prepared to experience the high’s and the low’s but to hear it and then to experience it; is very very different!

Thank you so much to those that are lifting us up in prayer and for all the encouragement.  We know without a doubt that he is in our home for a reason and we will love him no matter what!





So tomorrow Ryan and I have our individual interviews with our agency…

We have no idea what this includes!  We are interviewed separately by our caseworker. We have already “interviewed” with a marriage counselor so we aren’t sure what else they will ask us but we are ready!

Yesterday I was able to pick up the final item that we needed to be able to pass our home study…a lock for the laundry room doors, so we are 100% ready.  As we understand it after the interviews are completed and then we can have the home study so we are in the final days of waiting to be approved.

The Lord is definitely using this time of waiting as a way to work on my lack of patience, thankfully my husband is much better at this and reminds me often that our waiting is part of God’s plan to bring us the child(ren) that He wants in our home.

Waiting Expectantly,