10.31.17, Tuesday

Another month is finished and now we have seen the end of 4 months with our little guy.  So hard to believe that last October we didn’t even know this little man existed and now he has affected every area of our lives and been woven into our little family like he has always lived with us.

Friday is a big day for us, we have our first court hearing (Permanency Review hearing) with him.  Honestly we have no idea what to expect but we are going into it positive and praying for the best outcome.  We have left it in the Lord’s hands and know He will do what is best for EVERYONE!  Our appointment is first thing in the morning but we have been warned that we could be there all day.  I am going prepared; snacks, games, toys, books, crayons, etc. We don’t know what we will learn, we don’t know what the process looks like, we don’t know if the judge will think we are doing a good job with him, we don’t know if the child attorney will feel like we have done enough to help him; we don’t know…but GOD does.  He has a wonderful caseworker who has seen major changes in him since he has come to live with us, so we go in knowing we have done what we can and have felt best for him

We have had some fun milestones over the last month.  He has learned how to tie his shoes, he turned six years old, he is doing amazing academically in school, we did family pictures together, he had his first “sleepover” at a friends house.  It has been a busy month.  Each day we see more of his real personality.  Each day we get more and more attached to him.  Several days he has told us he never wants to leave and would be sad and cry if he had to leave.  Many days our parenting skills have been tested.  Many days we have fallen short but everyday we have loved that little boy more and more and are so blessed that we have had him in our home.  His smile is infectious and he has a belly laugh like I have never heard before.

This little boy has changed our lives drastically, for the better and we can’t wait to see what is to come.



Too Much Happy…?

happinessHappiness is that feeling that comes over you when you know life is good and you can’t help but smile. It’s the opposite of sadness. Happiness is a sense of well-being, joy, or contentment. When people are successful, or safe, or lucky, they feel happiness.


It has been an emotional couple of days and a roller coaster for dealing with new things with Little man.  We truly never know what a day may hold and as we go to sleep each night we ask for more wisdom and grace for the new day.  Each day we are learning more and more about this little guy and learning more and more how we can improve as parents for him.

He told us through sobbing and tears on Tuesday night “that we have made him too happy”.  I can’t even begin to imagine a 5 year old thinking that he doesn’t deserve to be happy, that he doesn’t deserve love, care, respect and fun things.  Or maybe he knows in his heart he is becoming completely attached to us and he is afraid that he will have to leave?  Again, I just can’t imagine a 5 year old having to think about these things.

Hearing this just makes my heart break for all the other children that have those similar feelings because they haven’t been able to experience love and care like they deserve. We told him that he has made us very happy also and there is nothing wrong with being happy.

Is there someone’s life you can bring happiness to today?  Do it!  You won’t regret it, I promise.




This word has taken on a whole new meaning in the last 5 days.  It has made me think how I really love and look at people.

Do I love unconditionally?  Truly?  or do I just think I do?  Do I “expect” things from others and in return I will “love” or “like” them?

We feel like we have done everything possible to love our little guy and show him we truly love him, not just with material things but with things like attention, food, patience etc. but on Saturday we experienced extreme push back on that love, no doubt testing us to see if we would still love him, still take care of him, still give him a home and a bed to sleep in, still feed him even if he disobeyed, even if he slammed doors, even if he called us names, even if he told us NO! 100x, he is trying to find out if we will love him UNCONDITIONALLY.  Ryan and I have prayed for patience and wisdom and so many of you and others are praying daily for us as well and it is only with those prayers that the Lord has carried us through two of the most trying days.  I said to Ryan it is so hard to see him being so defiant when we have shown him nothing but love, but I am sure in his little mind it makes complete sense!

But on the bright side…this morning he woke up (early 6:15) and came down and saw me and wrapped his arms around my legs.  I walked over to the couch with him and held him and he just laid there with his head on my shoulder and then talked and talked and talked, kissed me, hugged me and was completely different today than he was on Saturday.  It seemed he was completely content that this was home!

We were told to be prepared to experience the high’s and the low’s but to hear it and then to experience it; is very very different!

Thank you so much to those that are lifting us up in prayer and for all the encouragement.  We know without a doubt that he is in our home for a reason and we will love him no matter what!