Hodge-Podge…

8.7.17

There is so much to say, but it feels so hodge-podge just bear with me, this is definitely one those posts that makes sense to us but most likely will feel so “unconnected” to others.

Little man had some hard days at the beginning of the week but Thursday morning he woke up completely different than he had been, this was a HUGE answer to prayer.  You see he is 5 (almost 6) and he remembers EVERYTHING it seems from what he has experienced in the past.   So one small thing that seems insignificant to us can be HUGE for him.  One emblem on a car reminds him of people that he loves but that he doesn’t get to see hardly at all anymore.  One picture in a book can bring back a flood of memories, some good and some not so good.  One trip in the car can make him remember trips in the past.  One sighting of a dog that looks like his dog makes him reminisce about the dog that he loves but no longer sees.  But the opposite is true also, he knows that in our home he has his toys, his bedroom, his familiar things that he knows and things that are his and he loves to be at home in the familiar space.

He has been with us for 20 days…that is all but we quickly established a routine and the week days are very similar each day and he thrives on that routine.  He knows that Monday-Friday he goes to “school” for a couple of hours and then Ryan picks him up.  He knows that on Sunday we go to church.  He knows that the bedtime routine includes a song, Bible story, prayer and lots of hugs and kisses.  We also want him to know that we love him and each day the decisions we make we are trying to do what is best for him.

Ryan and I were talking last night before falling asleep how much we have learned in the last 20 days about parenting and how much we have yet to learn but are thankful that we don’t need to know everything right now, but take things one moment at a time. People have said to us many times in the last 3 weeks they don’t know how we are doing it but to be honest we don’t know how to do it either, except by God’s grace and wisdom for each new moment.  We never in a million years thought that our first experience as parents would be with a 5 year old, but God knew.  God knew exactly what that would look like.  Right now we have an overwhelming need that we didn’t foresee two years ago, when we made a huge decision but God knew and God has it completely under control.  Do we know how He is going to take care of that need?  Absolutely not, but He didn’t bring us to this point in our lives to just let us “hang out to dry” so we will trust knowing that His plan is perfect.

Our dear church family is doing a “Welcome to Parenthood” celebration and we are beyond blessed that they are celebrating with us this new chapter in our lives just as if he were our biological child, even though he is our foster son.  We are thankful that the Lord lead us to our church only a year ago when we moved an hour away from our families and our familiar territory.  Once again God had the perfect plan.

You see what I mean…complete mis-match of things but things we don’t want to forget and we want to be able to look back and remember.

RLG

 

Peaches ‘n Cream

8.2.17

This week we have been reminded that things aren’t always “Peaches ‘n Cream”.  Sunday night on our way home from church I have no idea how it came up but one of us said something about wanting Peaches ‘n Cream.  When I hear the phrase “Peaches ‘n Cream” I think, “life is good, things are going well”, etc.  Don’t get me wrong, I am so blessed and my life is very good, but sometimes there are bumps in the road.

Sunday night several hours after going to bed I hear over the baby monitor little man calling for “Daddy”.  I wake up Ryan and he goes quickly upstairs…as I listen I figure out that he had gotten sick.  I quickly gathered up some things and went up stairs to help out as well.  We got all of that taken care of and go back to bed and pray that he is okay and that he can go back to sleep.

Tuesday morning I worked from home until Ryan got off work and it was a rough morning.  It is obvious our little guy is dealing with so much and trying to process all the change that has happened in his short life.  Ryan was able to get him to talk and he shared what he was thinking and it was a small glimpse into how his little mind is thinking about all of these strange people, places etc.  But it was also a sharp dose of reality for me that even though I have done everything to be his “mother” for the last two weeks he doesn’t connect the dots to see that.  He sees me more of a reason to be able to go back to his birth mom, he thinks that if he doesn’t obey me that means he can go back to mom.  I will admit it was very painful to think that even though I love him and take care of him like a mom loves and takes care of their child he isn’t willing to accept that. They told us in training that things like this could happen, they warned us, prepared us, etc but for it to happen in your own home with a child that you have given every ounce of your energy too the last two weeks was a huge growing experience for me.

I am sure we will have more tough moments, I am sure that we will continue to have fun and joyous times as well and I am so thankful that each day is a fresh start to love and be loved by others and love, to be loved and to be forgiven by God.

Life isn’t always “Peaches ‘n Cream”

RLG