This word has taken on a whole new meaning in the last 5 days.  It has made me think how I really love and look at people.

Do I love unconditionally?  Truly?  or do I just think I do?  Do I “expect” things from others and in return I will “love” or “like” them?

We feel like we have done everything possible to love our little guy and show him we truly love him, not just with material things but with things like attention, food, patience etc. but on Saturday we experienced extreme push back on that love, no doubt testing us to see if we would still love him, still take care of him, still give him a home and a bed to sleep in, still feed him even if he disobeyed, even if he slammed doors, even if he called us names, even if he told us NO! 100x, he is trying to find out if we will love him UNCONDITIONALLY.  Ryan and I have prayed for patience and wisdom and so many of you and others are praying daily for us as well and it is only with those prayers that the Lord has carried us through two of the most trying days.  I said to Ryan it is so hard to see him being so defiant when we have shown him nothing but love, but I am sure in his little mind it makes complete sense!

But on the bright side…this morning he woke up (early 6:15) and came down and saw me and wrapped his arms around my legs.  I walked over to the couch with him and held him and he just laid there with his head on my shoulder and then talked and talked and talked, kissed me, hugged me and was completely different today than he was on Saturday.  It seemed he was completely content that this was home!

We were told to be prepared to experience the high’s and the low’s but to hear it and then to experience it; is very very different!

Thank you so much to those that are lifting us up in prayer and for all the encouragement.  We know without a doubt that he is in our home for a reason and we will love him no matter what!


A Good Tired


We had our son for 28 hours when we laid down in bed and looked at each other and realized we were both so exhausted.  A good tired, but nonetheless tired…

We get up super early each weekday morning, (like 3:50 a.m.) so Ryan can go to work, so typically when he got off work (before this Wednesday) we would eat dinner together and relax, we kept our weeknights free from commitments as much as we could because getting others to understand that young adults (us) needed to be in bed sooner rather than later because of the early rise time got tiring to explain.

Welcome to night one…church night, getting a high-energy toddler to bed and to stay in bed in a brand new house, with brand new strangers was interesting.  We did it though and thankfully he slept until 7:00 a.m. the next morning.

Night two…not as easy and I share this story for all your other moms and dads because I am sure you will be able to relate.  Ryan put our little guy to bed, and we went to bed (and the “baby” monitor was on), Ryan fell asleep and I laid there for about an hour as was just about to doze off when all the sudden very loudly on the monitor I hear the “Hot Potato game” song going off…I literally started laughing!  I grabbed my glasses just as quickly as I could…as I was running out the bedroom door I hear Ryan “is that music?” I just about died…

I flew up the steps and go into our little boy’s room and he is laying there with the overhead light on, two night lights on and the closet light and he smiles up at me so big…and I see him tucking the still “singing” Hot Potato under his blanket…I said “hey buddy what’s going on?”  He said “how did you know I was awake, did your hear this?” as he pulls the potato out from under his cover.  One of those moments when it takes everything in you not to bust out laughing.  I gently went over to the head of his bed and he hands me the toy…I then also got a quick glimpse of something that I knew didn’t belong in his bed…yup…he had the entire deck of cards for Dutch Blitz as well as Old Maid!  He was set for a fun night of games (he had gone over to the play room and stocked up!!!  I told him we could look at the cards tomorrow…and here is the heartbreaking part, he said “will I be here tomorrow?” oh my word, I just wanted to cry. I said “yes, Buddy you will be here tomorrow”.

We sang a couple of songs (that whole story will be for another post, because he completely melted my heart) and I kissed him and told him I loved him and goodnight and I went back down to bed and didn’t hear another peep from him!

Oh the adventures we are having, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything, especially when he calls me “Mommy” or asks where “Dad” is…just priceless and so so blessed to be his parents right now.




So tonite at 4 p.m. we will become parents for the first time!!!!  That is hard say, let alone write.  Excited, nervous, anxious, excited, unknown, excited (oh wait, did I say that already)…yes there are many words to describe the feelings we have right now but one thing we do know for sure is that we are so BLESSED!

Last Thursday we received a phone call with our first referral…less than one week after we were approved.  Ryan and I talked about the situation and said “YES”.  So after many phone calls, emails and even more interviews and making final preparations for our home study we will meet our son tonite.

We heard many times during our pre-service training that this process is an emotional roller coaster and we have already experienced that for sure.  But each day (and many times throughout the days) we just prayed for God’s will, we prayed for peace and wisdom to know how to proceed and God answers those prayers in a big way.

When we were called with the referral late Thursday afternoon we were told we might need to go pick him up that night…we were ready!  Then several hours later we were told no, but they would be in contact tomorrow with more information and details…so we didn’t know if that meant we would be picking him up or what the situation might be. Friday came and we were told that they decided to review several other families profiles and they would make a decision…okay, we would wait (we knew all along that if he was to come to our home God would work it out).  Friday afternoon we were told that the county wanted to meet Ryan and I in person and interview us…sure!  Monday we found out that the interview would be Tuesday at 1:30…we weren’t sure what this would be like.  Tuesday we drive out of the county into new territory and we for the first time are in a Children and Youth Center to meet a caseworker and as we sat there and waited I was just reminded how absolutely blessed I am!!!!

After an hour and a half interview (which wasn’t scary at all) and finding out more about this little guy that needed a home we took some time and talked to the representative from our agency and we said YES again to this little boy.  Yes to the unknown, Yes to being parents to an adorable blond hair little guy, Yes to loving this boy with all of our hearts no matter how long he is in our home.

So last night on the way home we stopped at Walmart and grabbed a couple of things that we thought he would need and Ryan had fun trying to find the things that we needed in superhero themes (who ever knew that they made superman toothbrushes?).

We know that our lives will be forever and completely changed with a child in our home and last night we talked about how different things will be from now on, but we have definitely learned this whole process isn’t about us but about these children who need love, care and attention and if we can help them and minister to them (ever if just for a short time) than that is what we will do.

Pray for us!




So tomorrow Ryan and I have our individual interviews with our agency…

We have no idea what this includes!  We are interviewed separately by our caseworker. We have already “interviewed” with a marriage counselor so we aren’t sure what else they will ask us but we are ready!

Yesterday I was able to pick up the final item that we needed to be able to pass our home study…a lock for the laundry room doors, so we are 100% ready.  As we understand it after the interviews are completed and then we can have the home study so we are in the final days of waiting to be approved.

The Lord is definitely using this time of waiting as a way to work on my lack of patience, thankfully my husband is much better at this and reminds me often that our waiting is part of God’s plan to bring us the child(ren) that He wants in our home.

Waiting Expectantly,



Just sitting here thinking how quickly things have progressed since we have decided to pursue foster2adopt.  So I did this quick timeline.

September 27, 2016 – Attended orientation and walked out saying “no way could we ever…”

April 4, 2017 – After much prayer and discussion we decided to “walk this journey”

April 5, 2017 – Turned in our 22 page application and misc. documentation needed

April 13, 2017 – Attended our First Pre-service training session 6-9 pm (there are 9 to attend)

June 1, 2017 – Attended our last of 9 Pre-service training sessions (which was actually the 1st session material)

June 1, 2017 – First Aid/CPR and Infant CPR Certified

June 15, 2017 – File was Transferred! (which means we can do our fingerprinting and our home study will be scheduled)

June 16, 2017 – Completed our Fingerprinting and background checks

June 27, 2017 – Email from the caseworker that is going to complete our profile.

…can’t wait to fill in the next date when we are officially approved to be parents!!!!!

So this has all happened very quickly (they tell you in the first orientation that this process typically takes 6 months to a year), for which we are so thankful, so far it has only been 2 months for us!  They said typically they are “chasing” the families for their paperwork, etc. not us we are all in!

Each step of the way, each homework page completed, each interview and each “obstacle” we have seen God work mightily!  Thank you to all of our dear friends and family that have supported, prayed for, given money and gifts, it all matters and we are beyond grateful!

Waiting Expectantly,







Your file has been TRANSFERRED!!!  Those were exciting words to read in an email on Thursday, 6.15.17.  We had waited two weeks with not a word from our agency and we were just waiting on an email with the links to get started on our fingerprinting and background checks, but we got another step better.  We have completed all of the paperwork we can and our file has been reviewed so it has been passed on to the person who will write our profile!  This was a huge blessing and we were thrilled that we are even one more step further in the process.

So Thursday night we sat for a couple of hours and completed all the online background checks, child abuse clearances, state police record check and on Friday we went and got our fingerprinting done.  So it is all done and now we wait for the results, which they said can take up to two weeks.



We are waiting now for a phone call from the person who will do our individual interviews and home study so that our profile can be written.  Once those three things are done; we are done and hopefully we will get a APPROVED.

Excited doesn’t even begin to explain our feelings right now!

Waiting Expectantly,