2.9.18 – Friday
We were at our Foster Care agency and I had gone up with the baby to see if our caseworker was in her office. She wasn’t so I was standing out in the lobby talking to two of the other workers. As we talked another caseworker (who I had met one other time) came walking out with this cute little guy. She stopped and for some reason (which isn’t like me at all) I asked him what his name was. He told me. I asked him a couple of other questions and he answered with one word. We all chatted for just a minute or so more and he and the caseworker left. I asked the other workers what his story was. They shared a little bit of information and that he was legally free to adopt, meaning all parental rights were terminated and he needed a forever family.
I was blown away. I quickly found a way to say my goodbyes and I walked back downstairs to Ryan. I told him the story. He was blown away. You see when we started in foster care our desire was to give a child a forever family. We had looked through the PA Waiting kids list time after time.
We talked for a couple of minutes and decided to go back upstairs and see if anyone could give us more information, something to read about this boy or any more information. Sure enough they had some information. We read, it was heartbreaking this child’s story. Our hearts were already being pulled in. We told them that we wanted to pray about it for the weekend and we would be back in touch. We were told very bluntly that if we decided yes to him, it needed to be forever! He had been tossed from home to home and he was at the breaking point.
2.12.18 – Monday
We reached out to the agency and said we were interested in learning more about him.
2.13.18 – Tuesday
We met with his caseworker, we read even more about his story, we heard about his strengths, we learned he loves Spiderman. Each time we learned more we wanted to be able to help him. But at what point do you feel like you are stretched far enough and don’t have more to give. It is hard to explain and may only make sense to those that have done foster care, but parenting a foster child is so different than parenting a biological child. The emotional, mental and everything toll it takes on you is exhausting, but oh so worth it. Could we parent 3 boys and do it well? These were all the questions running through our minds.
2.14.18 – Wednesday
The caseworker wanted us to meet him. We made arrangements to meet him on Sunday.
2.18.18 – Sunday
We met “Q” in the respite home that he is staying in (his respite parents are amazing). We played with him, talked to him, he showed Ryan his room, he shared cookies with us, it was a good visit.
We left with more questions, but also more of a peace about the whole situation. We also left a sweet boy that has no family, no one to call mom and dad, no forever home to go to.
2.20.18 – Tuesday
We met with our current foster sons caseworker to get a feel of how she thought our other 6 year old son would respond to him, how would he feel with another child in his “territory”. Would we see more negative behaviors from “little man” because of a change in our family dynamic? We don’t want any regression, we don’t want to cause any more harm to him. We had many questions.
Ryan and I talked more that night and decided to proceed with a weekend/overnight visit. To get a feel of how the boys would interact with each other. How they would mesh. Yes, we realize that we won’t see alot of negative things in one weekend but it will help us hopefully get a feel of a 3 child family and dynamic and if we can parent 3 children with emotional trauma.
2.21.18 – Wednesday
So we arranged the weekend visit for this weekend. We are excited, nervous, praying and excited!
We do not know what our decision will be after this weekend, if we will say yes to giving “Q” a forever home; but we do know that the entire situation has made us do a lot of soul searching, thinking, praying even more and talking about things that we never thought we would ever talk about, but it has been good!
God is growing our faith, He is showing us that His plan is sovereign and we just need to take one moment at a time.